The Real Deal on Crying. Relentless, Inconsolable Crying.
You rock her. Sway and shush, but to no avail. You wear a track into your living room carpet, and jog up and down the stairs with her but no...the shrieking, the wailing continues. So you strap her into her carseat, hop in the Nissan, and go for a late night spin around town. The cries turn to whimpers turn to sighs turn to silence. Ahhhh...
Then you walk in the front door, set her down as gently as possible, and your husband sneezes. WAAAHHH!
There are rough times. And the instances of unrelenting crying make up a large portion of those times. As we've gotten into more of a routine, and I feel more competent and relaxed with day-to-day baby care, it's these moments of gut-wrenching, ear-splitting crying that continue to grind my gears. That, like nothing else, will shorten my temper and bring me to the brink of my own frustrated tears.
Rookie mamas like me, please know: there will be times when your beautiful little babe cries for minutes or hours on end and there is literally nothing you can do to stop it. Of course, you'll try the standards: feed, change, rock, shush, change of scenery. If anything seems off, you can always take a temperature or call your doctor. But sometimes, she just needs to cry. Nothing will actually be wrong - and you can tell her that! - but regardless, the tears will come. Breathe deep and call in reinforcements before you lose your cool; and if you are alone, place her gently in a safe spot (e.g. the crib) and walk away for a few minutes to level yourself again. You're a loving parent and thus a superstar but you are still a human with limits. The number one priority is to keep her safe while you deal appropriately with those limits.
You will hear the horror stories from other moms, about the hours of non-stop crying, the weird combinations of movement and sound to calm the baby (in a carrier, on a yoga ball, beside the fan, and holding a hair dryer?! No not me, thank God, but someone out there!) You'll want to scream, cry, run away or do a combination of all three; it's okay, we have all been there. But remember: she has no other way to explain or cope with discomfort, and she does not have the ability to do things intentionally or maliciously. There was a poster in the NICU that said "I cry for many reasons but never to make you angry". And trust me when I tell you that the next morning, when she wakes from a nice sleep, sees your face and smiles, you will forget all about that weary night of crying.
Until the next time.
Then you walk in the front door, set her down as gently as possible, and your husband sneezes. WAAAHHH!
There are rough times. And the instances of unrelenting crying make up a large portion of those times. As we've gotten into more of a routine, and I feel more competent and relaxed with day-to-day baby care, it's these moments of gut-wrenching, ear-splitting crying that continue to grind my gears. That, like nothing else, will shorten my temper and bring me to the brink of my own frustrated tears.
Rookie mamas like me, please know: there will be times when your beautiful little babe cries for minutes or hours on end and there is literally nothing you can do to stop it. Of course, you'll try the standards: feed, change, rock, shush, change of scenery. If anything seems off, you can always take a temperature or call your doctor. But sometimes, she just needs to cry. Nothing will actually be wrong - and you can tell her that! - but regardless, the tears will come. Breathe deep and call in reinforcements before you lose your cool; and if you are alone, place her gently in a safe spot (e.g. the crib) and walk away for a few minutes to level yourself again. You're a loving parent and thus a superstar but you are still a human with limits. The number one priority is to keep her safe while you deal appropriately with those limits.
You will hear the horror stories from other moms, about the hours of non-stop crying, the weird combinations of movement and sound to calm the baby (in a carrier, on a yoga ball, beside the fan, and holding a hair dryer?! No not me, thank God, but someone out there!) You'll want to scream, cry, run away or do a combination of all three; it's okay, we have all been there. But remember: she has no other way to explain or cope with discomfort, and she does not have the ability to do things intentionally or maliciously. There was a poster in the NICU that said "I cry for many reasons but never to make you angry". And trust me when I tell you that the next morning, when she wakes from a nice sleep, sees your face and smiles, you will forget all about that weary night of crying.
Until the next time.
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