The Rookie Mama

Happy 1st birthday to our sweet love. I can't believe it's already been a year; it feels like we met just yesterday. But when I think about how much you've grown, changed and learned, it also feels like a lifetime. You are the brightest part of my day and the warmest part of my night.  Stay fierce and determined, and know the value of hard work.  Respect everyone including yourself.  Stay sweet but always genuine.  And above all, know you are so loved by me, your dad, and your many family members and friends.

Can it really be? That one year ago today, we were still a family of two; and that one year ago tomorrow, we held our newborn daughter in our arms? It's been an amazing, awe-inspiring, scary, exciting roller coaster ride. And this week, with her birthday coming up, with my return to work pending, and with our little lady starting daycare, it's been a time of emotional reflection. I have shed many a tear over this daycare situation. I am extremely happy with our choice of provider , and know that she will be in a safe, nurturing, fun, educational environment. But knowing that in theory does little to stem the tide. And really, it's been a whole year of me and her together; it's no wonder I get choked up thinking about my panda spending her days with someone else. She will learn so much at this wonderful place, but I won't be there for a large portion of it - and that's tough. As I thought about this first drop-off, I kept circling back to the same fear: that

Before her, my life was pretty good. I was happy, well-adjusted, in a great marriage, living in a gorgeous condo, and enjoying spontaneous date nights and getaways.  Since her, my good life has become greater - in ways I could not understand before. My daughter has made my life brighter, more exciting, more challenging and infinitely more meaningful. Because of her, our great marriage is stronger, having been through the challenges of brand new parenthood. We see each other in totally different lights - not just as husband or wife, but as dad and mom, and it's a new view full of beautiful surprises. I gaze around our snazzy condo, and the setting sun catches on little areas of kiddie-dom that have not taken over so much as they have taken root - and grown within: a farm-themed Exersaucer in the living room, a pink scooter beside the couch, brightly-coloured boxes of books and toys scattered throughout the house. Dinner out now includes a high chair and sippy cup (although Mom&#