The Rookie Mama

Another hiatus as life gets in the way... But here we are! Two months with the little one in daycare, and two months with this Rookie Mama back at work. It's been a strange and difficult transition, but a good one for all that. I miss my little panda, but being away from her during the day makes our time together more special - for both of us, it seems. The smiles and hugs upon pickup are some of the sweetest, most heart-warming experiences I've ever had. Lucky me: my husband gets the drop offs, and I get mostly pick ups. Even though she's fine with the drop offs now, I surely get the better end of the deal :) I love being a mama. I loved having time "off", and the work of being with my daughter that whole first year was rewarding but oh, so exhausting - physically, mentally and emotionally. And although I both loved and appreciated this time on maternity leave, by about month 10 (certainly by month 11), I was ready to get back to work. This absolutely does no...

Can it really be? That one year ago today, we were still a family of two; and that one year ago tomorrow, we held our newborn daughter in our arms? It's been an amazing, awe-inspiring, scary, exciting roller coaster ride. And this week, with her birthday coming up, with my return to work pending, and with our little lady starting daycare, it's been a time of emotional reflection. I have shed many a tear over this daycare situation. I am extremely happy with our choice of provider , and know that she will be in a safe, nurturing, fun, educational environment. But knowing that in theory does little to stem the tide. And really, it's been a whole year of me and her together; it's no wonder I get choked up thinking about my panda spending her days with someone else. She will learn so much at this wonderful place, but I won't be there for a large portion of it - and that's tough. As I thought about this first drop-off, I kept circling back to the same fear: that ...