The Real Deal on Flexibility -The Birth Plan

Everything written about pregnancy, labour and child-rearing comes with a disclaimer: that every woman and every baby is different, so things may not look exactly as described in articles. Or blogs. Becoming and being a parent is a dynamic process, so being flexible is a key factor to keeping stress levels manageable.

The birth plan - that beautiful, ideal way in which you and your partner wish to bring your child into the world. How do you want to manage pain? What support people do you want in the birthing room? What music should play or pictures be posted? Tralala and fiddle deedee. Yes, all these things are important to discuss prior to the baby's arrival - don't get me wrong. But be prepared to throw any or all of the items out the window at any given time.

My birth plan did not include 5 weeks premature, after two days of unknowingly leaking amniotic fluid. Nowhere did I write that I would work in the morning, see my OB at lunch, and have my baby that evening. There was no slot on the template to say that my preemie baby, after being head down since week 18, would be breech and my induced labour would instantly turn into a C-section. Our car seat was not installed. The crib was not yet picked up. Most importantly, the little one was not fully developed yet. But here she came anyway, and we had to just keep moving forward and rolling with the changes as they came.

So rookie mamas like me, please know: knowledge and preparation are absolutely crucial, but a willingness to accept change is equally important. One fabulous piece of advice we received was to accept C-section as a possibility; you are less likely to feel (unnecessary) guilt if you know it could happen. We heeded that advice so after a brief moment of disappointment, we were excitedly on our way to the OR. Really, as long as the baby arrives safely and healthfully, and mom is okay too, the manner in which the delivery occurs is secondary. 

We can control what we consume during pregnancy, what the nursery theme will be, and what we will name our children; but the labour and delivery? A tiny little someone else is driving that bus, my friends. Let her take the wheel!