The Real Deal on "Baby Blues"

I don't like the term "baby blues". It's innocuous and even cutesy for something that can be serious and emotionally devastating. In the worst cases, it leads to full-on post-partum depression which can have fatal consequences for mom and babe alike. Case in point, the tragic end to the lives of Winnipeg native Lisa Gibson and her two children, a story that has recently brought this issue to the forefront.

Post-partum sadness is the very normal result of chaotic hormones affecting what is already a highly emotional, and at times frustrating, situation. Your life is in complete upheaval, you're exhausted and utterly sleep deprived, and your transitioning from the special, beautiful glow of pregnancy to the ever-changing and constant demands of motherhood. Although you are ecstatic with the arrival of your little one, there are times when you feel sadness and frustration to the point of hopelessness; then there is guilt for even having those negative feelings.

Many a mom-to-be plans to be that superwoman that everyone talks about: a bright and happy baby, a spotless house, dinner on the table, and back to pre-pregnancy size within weeks. In reality, something in that list will have to be placed on the back burner, and certainly in the first few months of becoming a parent. Priorities are a personal choice, but to me, the dusty baseboards and my favourite pencil skirt can wait while I figure out how to provide for my child, adapt to my new role, and maintain a loving relationship with my husband.

So rookie mamas like me, please know: there will be breaking points. There will be sudden bouts of crying and feelings of complete inadequacy. Tears will come with a force that may alarm you and your loved ones. At times you may wonder why you decided to become a parent at all or you may feel that you cannot do it again for another child. This is all normal, and this will all pass. Surround yourself with support from friends and family, and above all, please please seek help from your doctor or other trusted health professional if the feelings become unbearable or there are any thoughts of harm to yourself or your baby. Such feelings are not your fault and do not make you a horrible person; they simply mean you are a mother with both feelings and limits, trying your best, but unable to carry the world on your shoulders. Let us help you with the burden.

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