The Real Deal on Names
It has been two years since the last entry.
Obviously, much has happened in that time - not the least of which, little panda has a little koala brother! Yes, as of September 2016, this rookie mama became a rookie mama of two. If you want to know what kind of challenge it's been transitioning from one to two kids, just know that I fully intended to restart this blog at the start of maternity leave. And we are now in month SIX.
Anyway... names.
What an incredible responsibility it is to name your little human! It's how they will be known to the world. It's a piece of the foundation on which they build their identity. Do you go classic or unique? Common spelling or not? Does it go with their last name, their sibling's name? And how will you know if it suits their personality?!
Like most parents, we went through list after list of names, trying to find ones we both liked and seemed suited to our family and style. I tended to be more adventurous than he, and so we struggled to find common ground. During both pregnancies, we came up with a shortlist, sat on it for a few months, then honed in on one name. And lo and behold, also during both pregnancies, we had to change the names last minute! The first change occurred because I didn't want little panda associated with a celebrity whose annoyingly catchy pop song was blowing up the radio at the time. The second change came about because our best friends had their baby six weeks before us and named their son a variation of our name. What are the odds?!
In the end, we went with our gut instincts, and we are very pleased with the result. Panda's real name is quite common, but so is mine and my husband's. Like us, she will turn her head when called in the classroom and be joined by one or two others. Little koala's name is not as common but is easy for my non-Canadian family to pronounce - and their accent won't alter it like it would the original name. Also, he is named for a great jazz musician, and that's just a cool origin story period.
Everyone always has an opinion on names. They have history with that name, they think it sounds too plain or too unique, too common or too out-there. But YOU created that little human. You will raise him or her, and can use whatever name your heart desires. People will judge anyway; they always do. So choose right by you.
Names last a lifetime - unless they choose to change theirs later, of course. For some people, that change comes during marriage. It did for me. I went from Melissa A to Melissa J because that's what was normal. At least, that's what I thought. And so, upon the birth of my daughter, she followed suit and became O. R. J. But after some seven years with his last name, my desire to reconnect with my family and my roots became too strong, and I decided to switch back. Inside, I always was Melissa A, it's just now I had to change all my ID again.
I recall walking in the mall behind a group of girls who were clearly a sports team. On their jackets, beneath their team logos, each had their last name boldly written. It was disheartening that I would not see my own name on my children's jackets, certificates or diplomas. But I was resigned to it. Then a few days later, by some strange coincidence, my husband brought the issue up spontaneously and expressed to my then-pregnant self that the kids ought to be hyphenated. He said he could think of no reason not to, as his original argument that the names would be too long seemed silly. I don't remember if I shed tears of happiness at the time, but I easily could have.
And so, he is J. I am A.
And both our little ones are J-A.
To each their own of course, but for us, it made sense. They are a little of him, a little of me, but in the end, they are all their own.
Obviously, much has happened in that time - not the least of which, little panda has a little koala brother! Yes, as of September 2016, this rookie mama became a rookie mama of two. If you want to know what kind of challenge it's been transitioning from one to two kids, just know that I fully intended to restart this blog at the start of maternity leave. And we are now in month SIX.
Anyway... names.
What an incredible responsibility it is to name your little human! It's how they will be known to the world. It's a piece of the foundation on which they build their identity. Do you go classic or unique? Common spelling or not? Does it go with their last name, their sibling's name? And how will you know if it suits their personality?!
Like most parents, we went through list after list of names, trying to find ones we both liked and seemed suited to our family and style. I tended to be more adventurous than he, and so we struggled to find common ground. During both pregnancies, we came up with a shortlist, sat on it for a few months, then honed in on one name. And lo and behold, also during both pregnancies, we had to change the names last minute! The first change occurred because I didn't want little panda associated with a celebrity whose annoyingly catchy pop song was blowing up the radio at the time. The second change came about because our best friends had their baby six weeks before us and named their son a variation of our name. What are the odds?!
In the end, we went with our gut instincts, and we are very pleased with the result. Panda's real name is quite common, but so is mine and my husband's. Like us, she will turn her head when called in the classroom and be joined by one or two others. Little koala's name is not as common but is easy for my non-Canadian family to pronounce - and their accent won't alter it like it would the original name. Also, he is named for a great jazz musician, and that's just a cool origin story period.
Everyone always has an opinion on names. They have history with that name, they think it sounds too plain or too unique, too common or too out-there. But YOU created that little human. You will raise him or her, and can use whatever name your heart desires. People will judge anyway; they always do. So choose right by you.
Names last a lifetime - unless they choose to change theirs later, of course. For some people, that change comes during marriage. It did for me. I went from Melissa A to Melissa J because that's what was normal. At least, that's what I thought. And so, upon the birth of my daughter, she followed suit and became O. R. J. But after some seven years with his last name, my desire to reconnect with my family and my roots became too strong, and I decided to switch back. Inside, I always was Melissa A, it's just now I had to change all my ID again.
I recall walking in the mall behind a group of girls who were clearly a sports team. On their jackets, beneath their team logos, each had their last name boldly written. It was disheartening that I would not see my own name on my children's jackets, certificates or diplomas. But I was resigned to it. Then a few days later, by some strange coincidence, my husband brought the issue up spontaneously and expressed to my then-pregnant self that the kids ought to be hyphenated. He said he could think of no reason not to, as his original argument that the names would be too long seemed silly. I don't remember if I shed tears of happiness at the time, but I easily could have.
And so, he is J. I am A.
And both our little ones are J-A.
To each their own of course, but for us, it made sense. They are a little of him, a little of me, but in the end, they are all their own.
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