The Real Deal on Relationships
How dare you.
How dare you sneeze when I just spent 40 minutes putting a cranky baby to sleep. That you would have the audacity to perform an involuntary reaction like that just boils my blood. Well, she's crying again and what's that? It sounds like she's saying "Dad, it's your fault I'm up, so come here and comfort me!"
You will snap at each other. You will stare daggers at each other. And sometimes, you will be utterly humourless and take things very, very personally. Such is the ever-changing dynamic of your relationship with your partner, now that your family tree has a grown a new little branch.
We always knew we wanted to have children, but for a time, we were quite happy being DINKs (double income, no kids!). We partied, went on vacations, took random weekend getaways, and went to restaurants and movies on a whim. All of that started to slow before we made the decision to try and start a family. We were theoretically ready to take on the change; we just never knew how much it would truly affect our husband-wife relationship.
So rookie mamas like me, please know: your relationship with your partner will be affected. Short tempers, arguments, and exasperation are all par for the course. Just remember to find the time to talk about your day, don't forget to hug and kiss, and bring humour into frustrating situations.
You are more than friends and co-parents; you are a couple in love. And your love created a tiny new life who will learn from you what a strong and healthy relationship really is.
How dare you sneeze when I just spent 40 minutes putting a cranky baby to sleep. That you would have the audacity to perform an involuntary reaction like that just boils my blood. Well, she's crying again and what's that? It sounds like she's saying "Dad, it's your fault I'm up, so come here and comfort me!"
You will snap at each other. You will stare daggers at each other. And sometimes, you will be utterly humourless and take things very, very personally. Such is the ever-changing dynamic of your relationship with your partner, now that your family tree has a grown a new little branch.
We always knew we wanted to have children, but for a time, we were quite happy being DINKs (double income, no kids!). We partied, went on vacations, took random weekend getaways, and went to restaurants and movies on a whim. All of that started to slow before we made the decision to try and start a family. We were theoretically ready to take on the change; we just never knew how much it would truly affect our husband-wife relationship.
Some couples rally together. Others argue at the slightest provocation. We are a mixture of both and it seems to largely depend on what the hour is and what kind of night the little panda is having. At 3 a.m., I have a temper that can only be measured in millimetres. I'm hot-headed by nature, but when the rest of the world is sleeping, and I've been up for two hours with a cute but whiny grumpaloo, that rage is molten. It simmers beneath a paper-thin layer of composure; one innocent little comment from the huddled man-shaped lump beneath the duvet is all it takes to set off an explosion.
Being a parent is the hardest and best job there is. But when you add anxiety and exhaustion to the mix, it can strain even the best marriages. You barely see each other for one thing. In addition to caring for the little one, there is cleaning and laundry to do, a meal to put on the table, emails to catch up on and this rare luxurious thing called a shower. Sometimes we get into bed at night, look at each other and realize it's the first time we've met that day. At times, it's almost like we're roommates instead of husband and wife.
Being a parent is the hardest and best job there is. But when you add anxiety and exhaustion to the mix, it can strain even the best marriages. You barely see each other for one thing. In addition to caring for the little one, there is cleaning and laundry to do, a meal to put on the table, emails to catch up on and this rare luxurious thing called a shower. Sometimes we get into bed at night, look at each other and realize it's the first time we've met that day. At times, it's almost like we're roommates instead of husband and wife.
So rookie mamas like me, please know: your relationship with your partner will be affected. Short tempers, arguments, and exasperation are all par for the course. Just remember to find the time to talk about your day, don't forget to hug and kiss, and bring humour into frustrating situations.
You are more than friends and co-parents; you are a couple in love. And your love created a tiny new life who will learn from you what a strong and healthy relationship really is.
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