The Rookie Mama

It's a beautiful, life-changing moment to bring a tiny person into this world with just the power of your own body and mind. But it can also be traumatic to said body and mind. I work in a field that is dominated by women. One advantage to such an environment is that I was forewarned about the strange and sometimes icky details of post-partum recovery. Sure, these things can be found in the books and websites, but they are often glossed over. My colleagues were extremely candid about their own personal stories and I appreciated it. So here are some truths about what happens to moms after the baby is born - weird, gross, sometimes both together. But as always, no two births are exactly alike, blah blah blah, here we go: - You will have your period for 6 to 8 weeks and it will be heavy. You will pass huge disgusting clots that may frighten you. Toonie-size seems to be acceptable while golf ball is not. But really. Would not any one seek medical attention if she birthed a crimson...

Eat. Sleep. Poop. Cry. Such is the life of the newborn. For weeks and months, it seems whenever the babe is awake, she's either eating or crying. You start to learn the differences between the cries, and are able to tolerate a surprisingly high decibel level. But at first, that's all there is and you become accustomed to it.  Then one morning dawns, and your little dove coos. Just a little squeaking at first, but then there are sweet little sounds akin to talking, and they are accompanied by big smiles and bright eyes. The all-nighters, the hours of inconsolable crying - they fade to the background while you listen to this tiny person discover her voice.  She thinks my attempts at getting her to say "Mama" are hysterical although true giggling and laughing have yet to occur. They appear to happen in the face first before the voice. She looks like she finds something hilarious but the sound that emanates is a little pterodactyl-like. Still, I'll take it ove...

Everything written about pregnancy, labour and child-rearing comes with a disclaimer: that every woman and every baby is different, so things may not look exactly as described in articles. Or blogs. Becoming and being a parent is a dynamic process, so being flexible is a key factor to keeping stress levels manageable. The birth plan - that beautiful, ideal way in which you and your partner wish to bring your child into the world. How do you want to manage pain? What support people do you want in the birthing room? What music should play or pictures be posted? Tralala and fiddle deedee. Yes, all these things are important to discuss prior to the baby's arrival - don't get me wrong. But be prepared to throw any or all of the items out the window at any given time. My birth plan did not include 5 weeks premature, after two days of unknowingly leaking amniotic fluid. Nowhere did I write that I would work in the morning, see my OB at lunch, and have my baby that evening. Th...

I don't like the term "baby blues". It's innocuous and even cutesy for something that can be serious and emotionally devastating. In the worst cases, it leads to full-on post-partum depression which can have fatal consequences for mom and babe alike. Case in point, the tragic end to the lives of Winnipeg native Lisa Gibson and her two children, a story that has recently brought this issue to the forefront. Post-partum sadness is the very normal result of chaotic hormones affecting what is already a highly emotional, and at times frustrating, situation. Your life is in complete upheaval, you're exhausted and utterly sleep deprived, and your transitioning from the special, beautiful glow of pregnancy to the ever-changing and constant demands of motherhood. Although you are ecstatic with the arrival of your little one, there are times when you feel sadness and frustration to the point of hopelessness; then there is guilt for even having those negative feelings. Many ...

You think that little crooked grin on your newborn's face is a loving smile. Turns out she's just flatulent. Those chubby cheeks squish involuntarily as the cheeks down below do the same. Oh well. Maybe the next smile will be real. And then she hits the 8 week mark. On a particularly good day, she looks into your face and smiles. This time, it's not followed by a grumbling from below. Can it be? The first real smile from your newborn? Whether it is or not, you choose to err on the side of  super-happiness and believe that it is. You're now on the lookout for other examples to bolster your theory. The following week, it's a sure thing. As you hold your little chubby bunny close and cozy, your husband comes up to wrap his arms around the two of you. While you both look into this tiny face that's a little of him and a little of you, her eyes light up and she gives you an unmistakeable sunny smile. Both sides of the mouth are engaged, and her whole face gets in ...

Maybe you've pulled an all-nighter in school, staring bleary-eyed at a laptop and hitting the word count button every 2 minutes. Or perhaps you've worked a 10 hour shift at the corner store, the box factory, the coffee shop, trying to earn a little scratch for the weekend mall trip. You therefore think you know exhaustion. But let me tell you: until you have a newborn, the only thing you know is exhaustion's wimpy second cousin, fatigue. Functioning as an over-tired zombie hits a whole new level when you're a brand new parent. I have felt nauseated from the exhaustion. I've felt giddy and angry by turn. I have cried inconsolably because it's 4 a.m., she's feeding for the 12th time in 24 hours, and on top of feeling like a dairy cow, I haven't slept a wink all day. When I was pregnant, my hubby and I were sick of hearing how tired we were going to be. How cliche. Oh, we thought we were aware of the impending sleeplessness; we thought we knew...